Welcome to my ongoing journal of my journey with God!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Tumbling Guilt?

Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and he knows everything.
(1 John 3:20)

There are times my daily circumstances can be difficult for me. I have found peace in my renewed relationship with the Lord, but my joy becomes complicated, and fails to take flight. The peace I sense is God’s comfort allowing me to be secure in my conviction of faith, while Joy brings the tumbling sensation of guilt. There remains resistance in my heart to allow the emotion of joy to settle in my soul.

The simple pleasure of laughter at times can bring the after effect of guilt, rearing up my wallow of grief. Then there is the idea of moving forward with the plans of life – this ignites an ambush of uncharted emotion, which paralyzes the ability to enjoy life’s progression. It is difficult to find God’s purpose in this portion of my journey. I realize time and continued prayer will bring this answer to the surface in this challenging matter.

I tend to believe this is Gods way of showing me there are more essential things in this physical state, than even happiness. I also believe that the instant I realize this in my heart, I will be flooded with the emotion of joy and it will flow freely throughout my remaining journey. I know my Angel Girl would want the joy to continue in my life. She is the one who brings the evidence to my heart revealing the necessity for me to discover such things.

As I work through this battle of emotion, I know that God sees my heart. There is purpose attached to my journey and I pray I have the awareness, courage and wisdom to reveal my heart to Him as He wishes it to be, and that I fulfill my purpose that He has laid before me.

May God bless you and give you Grace.

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